I saw a picture on facebook (originally from pinterest).  Jello worms.  What a great idea!  It looked simple enough, yummy, and something my kids would really get a kick out of!  All you do is pour jello into straws then take the jello out of the straws and voila! A plate full of wiggly, wormy, tasty fun!

If only.

Getting the jello into the straws was messy.  But resourcefulness led me to rubber bands and mason jars and I was undaunted.  Into the refrigerator they went and I headed off to bed with thoughts of tomorrow’s squiggly treats and no doubt grateful smiles.

Next day, things proved tricky.  Ever try squeezing jello out of a straw in one continuous string?  When I rinsed the straws with enough warm water to actually get the stuff out, it immediately lost its wormlike shape and congealed into a gelatinous mass.  When I didn’t rinse with warm water, they were near impossible to squeeze out.  When the jello did come out, it often spattered.  Results?  I literally had jello on the walls, on the kitchen window, all over the counters.  I did not have jello worms.

I think there is a social media term for this – pinterest fail!

Once I attempted “Never-Fail Fudge” and guess what?!  It failed!!  My mom told me there was an actual recipe called “Never-Fail Fudge Brownies.”  The main ingredient?  Failed never-fail fudge!

We need ways of dealing with failure because, well, failure is a part of life!  As a parent, dealing with failure is one of the most important lessons I can teach my kids.  I hope I can pass along to them the following recipe –

Dealing with Failure

  1. Separate and set aside fear.  Being afraid of failure often keeps us from trying something new.  One thing that gives me courage in trying something new is to ask myself, “What is the worst that could happen?”  I hope to teach my children to from that perspective too.
  2. Add flexibility.  When things don’t go according to plan, you learn to improvise, honing your creativity and resourcefulness.  Being able to execute something flawlessly is truly commendable, but being able to think on your feet and adapt when the less-than-perfect happens is also a valuable life skill.
  3. Just keep stirring! Failure teaches perseverance“If at first you don’t succeed . . .”  it’s cliché, but so true!  I’m quick to applaud my kids’ successes – I need to be quick to applaud their perseverance even when it doesn’t lead to obvious success.  I need to reinforce that sticking with something is the ultimate goal even if failure is part of the process.
  4. Measure perspective.  Failure is part of learning.  Few get something right the first time we try it.  Getting it wrong and making adjustments is the essence of learning.  When my kids fail at something, do I help them see it as a stepping stone to “getting it right” next time?
  5. Add humility. Failure keeps you humble.  Just when you think you’re “all that,” you drop the ball and it splatters all over your Wonder Woman suit!  Yep, failure keeps your feet planted in reality.  I want my kids to understand the value of humility.  I want them to have confidence but confidence tempered by humility.
  6. Bake until GREAT!  Failure proceeds greatness.  How many stories of greatness begin with failure?!  Abraham Lincoln lost elections, Walt Disney’s first cartoon went bankrupt, and Thomas Edison tried thousands of times before he got the light bulb right!  I want my kids to see that failure helps to build the character needed to be remarkable.

So the next time I have a terrible mess on my hands, I want to turn it into a teachable moment.  And just perhaps these terrible messes and teachable moments can help my kids have a healthy perspective on failure.